Meet the Fandom
by Faux Promises
Summary: The cast isn't complete without the fans. Right? ...Right?


**A/N**: Co-written with my brother. Shamelessly lazy.

Disclaimer: Not owned by me.

x x x

Boom. Cumshot.

Shipping's a good job, mate! Challenging work, indoors, guarantee you'll get horny, 'cause at the end of the day, as long as there's still two slender bishi guys left on the planet, someone's gonna suck someone's dick.

Dad… dad… it's not pornography, it's art!~

Well the difference being one's a form of creative expression and the other's mental sickness….

I'll tell ya, my parents, do NOT care for it…

I think his mate flagged me…YES YES HE DID!

Creepy? You know what's really creepy? 80% of women have rape fetishes. The internet does not lie.

Be bishi.

Be kawaii.

Have a plan to rape everyone you meet.

x x x

Hey look buddy. I'm a fanfiction writer. That means I write fanfics. Not fics where people are in character. Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of canon. I write headcanon fics.

For instance. How am I gonna get Sniper to have sex with Spy within the first five chapters of my fic?

The answer is yaoi.

And if that don't work.

Use more yaoi.

Like this fifteen chapter, 160 review OOC fic I like to call "Sparkly Rain Desu." Written by me. Uploaded by me. And you best hope, not in your fandom.

x x x

What makes me a good fangirl?

If I were a bad fangirl, I wouldn't have 500 reviews on my fanfic now, would I?

A poorly written introduction, an angsty backstory, one full chapter of painfully written smut, and KABLOOIE!

I'm an autistic live-at-home weeaboo. They've got more cum shooting jizz wizards than they've got the likes of me….

So…all you serious writers so proud, so COCK-sure, prancin' about with your archive full of fanfics! Come and review me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with my group of white knights! I'm a crazed bloody fangirl, with kawaii desu fics!

Oh, I'll have to reblog this fanfic…**on Tumblr**!

x x x

Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Non-weeb in the fandom!

Non-weeb in the fandom?

Protect the fanon!

WE NEED TO PROTECT THE FANON!

Yo a little help here?

Alright, alright I got this, stand back ladies.

Slut, bitch, uh, fuck?

INCUUUUMING!

Hey, they deleted their account!

Ahem, weaboos? I see the fanon is safe. Tell me, did anyone happen to flame an anti-shipper today?

Ooooh a troll fic, no problem! I flame plenty of fics! They're a dime a dozen fic-writing slutbags, kinda like you…no offense…

If you managed to troll them I assure you they were not like the bitch loose inside this fandom.

What are you, president of her guro club?

No, that would be your OTP!

What? How did she...? Gimme those!

And now she's here to flame US, so listen up bitch, or her troll fics starring your OTP will be the second worst thing to happen to you today…

The troll has already breached our forums, you see what she has done to our white knights!

And worst of all she could troll anyone of us, she could be on this very thread, it could be you, it could be me, she could even troll…

*User Banned*

x x x

Um, I don't even know where to start with you, I mean do you even know who you're talking to?

Do you have ANY idea who I am?

Basically, a pretty big name fan.

Aww man that's beautiful.

You listening? Ok.

Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda, I ship people.

If you could write, what I can write, you'd be fuckin' cool.

W00000t!

x x x

If shipping is sure to result in reviews, then you must ship! Fangirls say that, and I think they know a LITTLE more about shipping than you do pal, because they invented it, and then they perfected it so that no other fan could tolerate their writing!

Then they used their popularity to get two of every bishi guy, and then they slapped it into a fic, and then they shipped the crap out of them!

And that's why any time a bunch of male characters are in a fic together, it's called an orgy!

Unless it's a gang rape!

x x x

And when the admin got there, the post had been deleted, and the author was never heard from again! Hahahaha!

Anyway, that's how I got banned from those forums.

Now, most archives can't withstand this much OOC sex, but I'm fairly sure this site...

*User Banned*

What was noise?

The sound of buttsecks my friend...

Flame me later...

Now where was I? There we go...

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

Come on, come on...

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

AHAHAHAHA!

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

Oh, that looks good.

Should I be posting these?

...No... but while you do, would you mind reblogging these? I can't seem to...

*User Banned*

Ahhhhhh!

Oh, don't be such a baby, start reposting them.

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

*Story Uploaded*

...

What now?

Tee Hee! Now, let's go flame some trolls!

AHHHHHHH! I AM LOGIC-PROOF!

x x x

I am big name fan guy. And this, is my fic.

She stretches on for fifteen chapters, and averages 23 reviews a week...

It takes two updates to keep this fic popular...for one week.

AHAHAHA!

OMG who flamed fic?

WHO FLAMED MY STORY?

Some authors think they can out-write me...maybe...*sniff*...maybe...

But I have yet to meet one who can outsmart block!

*We're sorry, this user has blocked you.*

CCCCCRRRRRRYYYY!

*We're sorry, this user has blocked you.*

CRY SOME MOAR!

*We're sorry, this user has blocked you.*

Heh heh! Cry some more...

* * *

**A/N**: Heavy and Medic have been added! Thank my brother. Pyro coming soon. As soon as Valve makes it that is.

Watch people flip out over this. It's just harmless fun! This is not anti-slash, by the way. I'm sure there are plenty of people who try to write in-character slash, or who write it and don't try to insist it's canon. But overall in most fandoms that is not the case.


End file.
